Monday, November 07, 2005

Posterior Reflections: Juvenile Lucubration

By Moltmannian, Senior Annular Research Fellow at the Institute for Advanced Buttology (IFAB), and Marian Evans, J. Osgood Renal Professor in the Department of Sphincter Studies at Brown

Finally, ME's ass will be examined according to the approach outlined by Wescott Buttmaster, noted British historian of butt-texts. Moltmannian has shown that the buttular apparatus appropriate to this examination, viz. Buttdiver203, lacks certain capacities for the multitudinous folds of anii.[1] However—and this is ME’s hope—rectifying (or, shall we say, rectum-fying) the excretory blockage will establish a situation akin to her goal of buttopia. Nevertheless, studies have shown that Moltmannian, notwithstanding his participation in this experiment as observer, actually desires the procedure for his own anii – in point of fact, looking at his proctological history, we must conclude that indeed his anii deserves (re)examination. In any case, barring unforeseen consequences to her ex-post-facto posterior intrusion, it is the hope of science that ME's anal excavation will result in new conceptual models for the study of anii both here and on the continent. As for the potential exploration of the posterior opening of Moltmannian's alimentary canal, perhaps only future scholars will be able to maneuver through the immense – and here we may claim no exaggeration – body of fecal matter coating its entrance hairs.

[1] Wescott Buttmaster, “Buttdiver203: Rectal Explorations for the 21st Century,” in Das Werkender Anii unde Aniiheilsgeschitcheliechtwerken 2 (2002): 47.


Victoria Winters said...

Um. What exactly is wrong with your ass? :)
p.s. Do you still have the GRE stuff you said you'd send me? I need to gear up for that soon!

marianevans said...

yes, on the way! don't mind us. this is an example of late night shenanigans between so-called scholars who have the minds of 6 year olds. oh, email me your address again, just in case.

Victoria Winters said...

You guys are crazy.
Love ya! :)