Four...........

Como quisiera........................
..........................poder vivir sin agua
..............................un poco menos
como quisiera poder.....................

.....................siento que muero
me estoy ahogando.........................

.........................poder vivir sin aire
.........................calmar mi afliccion
como quisiera.................................
me encantaria ......... tu corazon

..........pudiera
un pez nadar sin agua
como pudiera
un ave volar sin alas
como pudiera
la flor crecer sin.........

Como.................
..............................ti

Finally, Some Recognition

Our son has finally made it into the papers.


War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General

Cassius (AKA General Bonkers) gave a provocative news conference this last Monday. We're very proud.

What is ALAG?

In short:



Angry Little Asian Girl

There are many of us. We are angry. Watch out. We may rip your head off. Some of us are even angrier than Angry Asian Men.

Don't be tricked by "little" and "girl." We only claim those terms in subversive post-colonial mimcry. So back the fuck off.

Try It, You'll Like It

If you run on a treadmill that has a TV screen, try running tuned in to OLN, which broadcasts the Tour de France in the afternoons. I like to pretend, as I run with the motorcade's camera perspective, that all those spectators are cheering for me. Even better, I like to pretend I can run at "incredible speeds!" (a la Chris Farley in Tommy Boy). The only drawback is that sometimes I begin to think I'm actually on the curving road and I bump into the sides of the treadmill. It also is not so great when the cyclists are climbing the Alps. But try it, you'll like it.

Here's my running partner, good ol' Lance, and a teammate.

Oh Severus!

No, I’m not in love with Severus Snape – but I thought I’d indulge in a little fan-wanking today, on the eve of the release of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. And, to me, there is no better person to theorize about than Snape – one of the most intriguing characters of the septology. J. K. Rowling has said that she finds fans’ attraction to Snape disturbing, but how can she blame us when he is so damn ambiguous? Here are the major basic theories regarding Snape, from my scan of forums (check out Mugglenet.com – it’s very amusing):

1) Snape is a traitor – still. He is so skilled at Occlumency that he’s got us all, including Dumbledore, tricked. He is still a Death Eater.

2) Snape is good, and faithful to Dumbledore.

3) Snape is an opportunist, both Death Eater and one of the Order of the Phoenix. He’s waiting to see who wins before declaring his total allegiance.

4) Snape is a vampire. I find this one particularly tickling. Fans base this theory on the fact that a) Ron's joked about him being able to change into a bat (and whenever Ron jokes about something it's usually right) b) Snape never eats c) Snape wrote a large, spiky "D" on Harry's O.W. L. diagnostic and d) he's so pasty, and that's emphasized over and over again.

I am very interested in #1, and I recently figured out how this could be true given Voldemort’s pronouncement regarding Death Eaters missing from the circle at the end of Goblet of Fire. He said that there are a) his most faithful servant at Hogwarts b) “one who I believe has left me forever, he will be killed, of course” and c) a coward. The most logical matching of descriptions to names at that time seemed to be a) Barty Crouch, Jr. b) Snape and c) Karkaroff. But people have been theorizing that Snape may be the most faithful. I never heard a really convincing explanation for this, but I thought of one that might work the other night as I tried to distract Moltmannian from Badiou. b) could possibly mean Crouch Jr. – if it is simply a descriptive statement/prediction rather than a pronouncement of impending punishment. And this prediction does come true – Crouch is killed, leaving Snape to be the most faithful Death Eater.

But my theories on Snape fall more in line with #2, that Snape is faithful to the Order. Here is what I (like to) think: The greasy hair and hook nose are really a distraction put in place by Rowling in order for readers to pigeonhole Snape as untrustworthy. The more we discover about Snape, the more complex he grows. At first we only thought he was an atrocious person, particularly abusive toward Harry because of his grudge against James Potter. In the first book Dumbledore tells Harry that Snape saved his life so that he could hate James "in peace," having repaid the debt he owes James from having James save his own life. But we later find out that Dumbledore was dead wrong. Snape never believed James saved his life or did anything noble by keeping him from Lupin-in-wolf-shape. So, why did he do it? Let's leave this question for the moment.

We also discover more about Snape in Order of the Phoenix. During Harry's Occlumency lessons we find out that Snape has also had a rough childhood, growing up in an abusive environment, much like Harry and, not coincidentally, Voldemort (Tom Riddle). Snape also gets a chance to see how bad Harry had it - not at all the life of a puffed-up child celebrity, which Snape has accused Harry of being before. This is interesting. Every single year Snape has cut Harry down, told him he is not special, etc. etc. He tells Harry during Occlumency that he is neither signficiant or special - but this is definitely not true. Snape knows this full well: he knows the prophecy, he's a part of the Order. What gives? Looking at the other advice that Snape gives Harry gives us a clue: he tells Harry that weakness is in those that wear their hearts on their sleeves, those who cannot control their emotions. I think this is getting at the heart of Snape. He has experienced something in his past that has taught him to safeguard himself from hurt and vulnerability. Could it be that Snape has been applying his understanding of psychology very consistently with Harry over the years? Who is he steeling to restrain his emotions, to learn control, to withstand ridicule? Harry. Who has he been buttering up, making weak through favoritism and easy shortcuts? Malfoy. Perhaps Snape is not the abusive teacher we have known all along - cutting down the Dark Lord's enemy and helping a Death Eater's child - but very cleverly bringing up our hero to be strong (in his mind) while making the Malfoy heir weak, all the while seeming to have allegiance to Voldemort.

Of course, there are times when Snape is truly nasty to Harry and gleeful when Harry is in pain. This could be vestiges of his hate for James. But now we return to why Snape did save Harry's life (besides being faithful to Dumbledore). I believe that Snape had a friendship with Lily Potter. One very interesting omission from all of Snape's insults to Harry is the use of Lily as a barb. James he will ridicule - nothing is off bounds with him - but Lily is never mentioned. We know from Snape's pensieve that Lily once stood up for him, though he may not have shown appreciation for it then. Could it be that they developed a friendship later? And if Snape had feelings for Lily, all the more reason to hate James! There is one part early in Order that interested me. Aunt Petunia tells Harry that she knows about Azkaban because she heard "that awful boy telling her about them years ago." I don't think that "awful boy" is James. I think he's Snape - who is a hundred times more awful (looking, at least) than James.

Well, we'll all find out soon enough. I'm holding out for my own personal hero, Severus Snape.

Miyazaki's First Kiss

I've just returned from seeing Howl's Moving Castle (Hauru no Ugoku Shiro), Studio Ghibli's latest film (and that's the Ghibli Museum's ticket counter in the post below, in case you're wondering). I feel... a little sad. It was, of course, beautiful to look at. For example:



It's story was also lovelier than any American-made animation feature, in my opinion. But, compared to the jewels of Miyazaki's work, such as Totoro, Nausicaa, and even Princess Mononoke, something seemed missing from HMC. I was surprised not only by the repetition of themes and even art from Spirited Away but also, and even more so, by Miyazaki's growing sentimentality. This is the first film from Studio Ghibli that I find akin to Disney's Ariel-Pocohantas-Beauty type love stories, which saddens me. I may be wrong, but I think this is the studio's first film kiss, which seems such an American concept in animation features and so out of place for Miyazaki.* Restraint and subtlety have always marked the studio's love stories - witness Taeko and Toshio in Only Yesterday or Shizuku and Seiji in Whisper of the Heart, even given the dramatic conclusion. Granted, these are not Japanese characters, so cultural differences may be taken into account, but such was not the case with Porco or Lupin or any other "European" characters.

But this is not about kissing - it's the subtle change from films so different and unpredictable to something that seems so familiar, which makes it disappointing.

Regardless, see the film. It's beautiful and charming. See it subtitled, if you can. Somehow anime dubs all sound the same - the same cadence and acting, no matter the context. My theory is that the voice actors must always match the rhythm of mouth movements intended for Japanese, so English always sounds a bit wrong in the dub. Recognizing voices in dubs is also annoying - e.g. the kvetching of Billy Crystal, or Batman voicing Howl!

*Tanuki do NOT count.

Dreams of Japan

Nuff said.

Oneself as an Otter

Discuss.