Model Minorites Scaring Everyone Away

This last Saturday, the Wall Street Journal featured a column titled "The New White Flight," covering Bay Area high schools Monta Vista and Lynbrook. Look for it here.

How bizarre it is to read that white parents are pulling their children out of high schools because of the overachieving antics of Asian American students. And these are public high schools, people.

I was amused to read the following:

Top schools in nearby, whiter Palo Alto, which also have very high test scores, also feature heavy course loads, long hours of homework and overly stressed students, says Denise Pope, director of Stressed Out Students, a Stanford University program that has worked with schools in both Palo Alto and Cupertino. But whites don't seem to be avoiding those institutions, or making the same negative generalizations. . .

Gunn High School represent! I'm proud to say I was once one of those overly stressed students (still am), striving to prove the model minority myth right, even when separated from my clan in Cupertino, in the midst of lilly-white Palo Alto. (I kid, I kid.)

Posterior Reflections: Juvenile Lucubration

By Moltmannian, Senior Annular Research Fellow at the Institute for Advanced Buttology (IFAB), and Marian Evans, J. Osgood Renal Professor in the Department of Sphincter Studies at Brown

Finally, ME's ass will be examined according to the approach outlined by Wescott Buttmaster, noted British historian of butt-texts. Moltmannian has shown that the buttular apparatus appropriate to this examination, viz. Buttdiver203, lacks certain capacities for the multitudinous folds of anii.[1] However—and this is ME’s hope—rectifying (or, shall we say, rectum-fying) the excretory blockage will establish a situation akin to her goal of buttopia. Nevertheless, studies have shown that Moltmannian, notwithstanding his participation in this experiment as observer, actually desires the procedure for his own anii – in point of fact, looking at his proctological history, we must conclude that indeed his anii deserves (re)examination. In any case, barring unforeseen consequences to her ex-post-facto posterior intrusion, it is the hope of science that ME's anal excavation will result in new conceptual models for the study of anii both here and on the continent. As for the potential exploration of the posterior opening of Moltmannian's alimentary canal, perhaps only future scholars will be able to maneuver through the immense – and here we may claim no exaggeration – body of fecal matter coating its entrance hairs.

---

[1] Wescott Buttmaster, “Buttdiver203: Rectal Explorations for the 21^st Century,” in Das Werkender Anii unde Aniiheilsgeschitcheliechtwerken 2 (2002): 47.

Bonfire Night

Although we're across the pond, I say we go and burn effigies over bonfires tonight as well - whoever our version of Guy Fawkes may be.

For Harry Potterphiles, doesn't this remind you of Dumbledore's bird - you know, flames and burning and that name in particular?

Guy Fawkes, guy, t'was his intent
To blow up king and parliament.
Three score barrels were laid below
To prove old England's overthrow.

By god's mercy he was catch'd
With a darkened lantern and burning match.
So, holler boys, holler boys, Let the bells ring.
Holler boys, holler boys, God save the king.

And what shall we do with him?
Burn him!



I wonder how Catholics in England feel about tonight.

Around This Time Last Year

Early every year the seeds are growing
Unseen unheard they lie beneath the ground
Would you know before the leaves are showing
That with weeds all your garden will abound

If you close your eyes, stop your ears
Hold your tongue, how can you know?
The seeds you cannot see may not be there
The seeds you cannot hear may never grow

In January you've still got the choice
You can cut the weeds before they start to bud
If you leave them to grow higher
they'll silence your voice
And in December you may pay with your blood

So close your eyes, stop your ears
Close your mouth and take it slow
Let others take the lead and you bring up the rear
And later you can say you didn't know

- Song of Choice, Solas, The Words that Remain